Durable Fulfillment - Long Lasting Peace

What do we really want ?

We all have this Question , every now and then … and a general answer would be happiness. we wants to be happy.
But have you ever seen a person who is always happy ?
Difficult to find one because happiness is a emotion & we do not stay in only one emotion. All the external things effects tries to effect our emotion.

A second answer Would be success.
But there are many people who are very successful but still not happy & Commit suicide. Success not necessary makes a person happy . And Success differs from person to person .

An another answer could be freedom ? … We love Freedom . We crave for Freedom. And this appear to be most important need than ever during Coronavirus Lockdown . Hahaha
Anyway coming back to the point , We need Different kind of freedom. Freedom of Finance . Freedom from Relationship restriction . Freedom of Free time .
Also freedom doesn't give you happiness…
A Person might be free and enjoying games and movies . But he will need success .
A person who is jobless is all the free but searches for job
A recently divorced person is recently divorced is free to enter in any new relationship but he might not be happy
A person who is homeless could go anywhere but wishes for home to stay.
Also a person who is Successful might not be Free .

So, We need all of these things.
- Happiness
- Success
- Freedom

And one more thing, we don't need it in one at time , but all 3 of them together.
And also not for few days , weeks or months… but for long time time. For DURABLE time .
Thus, this four things act as pillars of life & all together makes our life "DURABLE FULFILMENT". Durable fulfilment means long lasting happy satisfying life.

To build up these pillars, we have to pursue them with our certain resources in Our "BOUNDARY" to achieve them. The base pillar was boundary. in our previous blog and last video we have discussed about it in detail. Let's look at this resources

1) Emotions - our emotions are responsible for our happiness.
We need to work on 2 emotions to achieve happiness
A) wellbeing - it refers to feeling of needs are met, nurtured like Mobil oil in bike from video 2 fuels of life.
B) confidence - power on which we run, risk & action taking capability Like petrol in bike from video 2 fuels of life.

2) Intellect-our intellect is responsible for success.
Why a doctor is paid more then accountant ?
Because doctor possess a more unique knowledge then accountant.
Of course, we need to put in action this knowledge else it cant be monetized.

3) Decision - our decisions are responsible for our decision
- It's your decision to marry or stay single
- It's your decision to do a job or try to open a business.
- It's your decision to give up your couple of hours in entertain someone or finding a means to say no to save those hours.

Read more »

Modi ji , Best leader ...

Read more »

The defense mechanism - Boundary

We all do have a invisible boundary that help us to distinguish things that we do control, have right & that we don't.

Some examples of boundary from practical life :

1) Boundary of Nation : every nation have its boundary & jurisdiction of that nation applies to all part within that boundary.
 You can't cross any nation boundary without prior approval.

2) Your home : your home do have boundary in form of walls.
No body could enter in your home without approval.

3) King castle : Earlier, kings Live in a castle protected with some layers of defence.
If one tries to enter in King castle without approval, it's considered as attack.


You may have listen many times in general communication, "hey, you are crossing your limits".
In order to not cross our limits,we need to understand what Comes within our limits & what Comes out of our limit.

What Comes within our limit : all of our resources that we do control Comes within our boundary like
- Finance
- intelligence
- Emotional energy
- Time
- Skill
- Bike,car,tv or any monetary possession

What comes out of our limits: all the things that we can't control Comes out of our boundary. The list is long but some of examples are :
- Your boss
- Your girlfriend or spouse
- Nation economy
- Anything that you does not have ownership.

Suffering : I do not need to explain suffering but could be in any form Like tension,anger,irritation

What causes suffering: it could be one of the below reason

1) Trying to control things that are outside our boundary : One of the major issue is we expect other person to act according to our desired wish. We forget that we can't control them & in end suffer.
Ex. If you ever had been in relationship, you may have tried to control your partner & vice versa.

2) Weak boundary : With certain people, we do have a weak boundary or say holes in boundary.
The 2 Major ways to identify holes in boundary are:

A) The person who feels uncomfortable to say & listen "no" have weak boundary. Other person could easily enter in your territory & May manipulate you. It leads to Leak out of your resources.
Someone else may be exhausting your resources just because you were uncomfortable to say no.

B) The person who often uses word "should" in his sentence.
When you uses word "should", you are trying to guide what & how things shall be done.
Ex. He should have gone there.
He should ask for dinner.
He should have not taken leave.

But he who uses word "should" forget the concept of boundary.
Most of the times,he is trying to correct things that are out of his boundary.
May be he is right but could he change someone else ? - Noooooo


Solution : Build a boundary with doors just like your home. The door of your home is open to Certain people & for certain time.
Ex. You have open your doors for your employer from 10:00 am to 6:00 pm.
For else time, the door is closed.

Fix a certain time for which you are available. Don't be always available else ready to be taken granted.

How to grow your boundary ?: With your current resources,you pursue for a goal.
A goal is something that is out of your boundary & you are trying it to bring it in your boundary.

Once you achieve that goal, it become part of your resource too & your boundary grows.

2 things to remember while pursuing goal :

1) Many time we chase a high goal that we are not able to achieve with current resource.
I m not saying you cant achieve it,i m saying you cant achieve it with your today resources.

Quit that goal,put it out of your boundary else it will cause you suffering.
You may try for that goal in future with your updated resources.

2) Increasing boundary have nothing to do with happiness. Many people have increases their boundary too much by achieving things & increasing their resources but their resources are sitting ideal today.
Ex. If you buy a big mansion, what are you going to do of all space if you are single.
Ex. Their are many rich people for whom money is just a piece of paper,they have earned a lot more then their needs.More money cant serve them in any way.

Read more »

2 fuels of life - happiness & courage

Note : the content is taken from book" mind operating system"

Have you ever ride a bike? 

If yes, then you shall be aware that bike runs on 2 fuels :

1) petrol - it Is required to run bike
2) mobil oil - it is required to to keep engine fluid & proper working.

Let assume:

A) what Happens if bike have mobil oil but do not have petrol?
Ans- bike shall not move but its engine shall be fine.

B) what happens if bike have petrol but do not have mobil oil?
Ans - bike shall move but it shall be harmful for engine, the engine will cease if you continues for long period.

Practical application : replace as below

1) replace bike with yourself
2) petrol with courage - to keep moving
3) mobil oil with happiness - to keep engine smooth

Let's repeat our some of questions again but this time it's about your life:

A) what will happen If you possess happiness(mobil oil) within but do not possess courage(petrol) to try new things, to take risk?

Ans : you shall be living a peaceful life but not moving forward. You ceases to grow. You shall be like "frog in a dwell".

B) what will happen if you possess courage(petrol) but do not possess happiness(mobil oil).

Ans: you shall be growing, may achieve many things but may snap out, have anger management issue & lack peace in mind.
There are number of examples who achieve many things but committed suicide(there engine ceases).

Read more »